The key to success in a co-parenting family is consistency and positivity for the sake of those affected most by a separation. Divorce is hard on everyone in a family, but of course the priorities automatically become the children, wondering how they will cope with the new way of life. Having to be the one responsible for helping them get through the hardness is a challenge. The type of advice that new co-parents learn is usually what not to do in given situations, but never what to actually do when you are put in a difficult situation. It is important to stay positive for the benefit of your children especially when it comes to conflicts that you may be having with your ex-significant other. Co-parents need advice on offering some stable steps to help their children cope with the traumatic event that is divorce as well as learn and grow from it as time passes by.

It is crucial that parents take the time to talk to one another on a regular basis so that they can be on the same page with raising their children even though they may be raising them separately, because when the children see their parents agreeing on things that will make it easier for them to respect those parenting techniques coming from each parent. As parents you have to put your feelings aside to make sure that your children have the right resources and are in the right environment to cope with the divorce, their best interest should always be at heart. Of course there is no guarantee that things will turn out alright for your children, you have to remain optimistic and encouraging as well as hopeful for the future because that positivity is likely to be passed down to your children as well.

Adjusting to a new routine is difficult for children as well as the separated parents, but what truly matters is the quality time that you as a parent put in to your children and how you go about the new routine that they now are faced with. It is important to stay involved actively in your children’s lives after a divorce; the closer you bring them to you the more likely you are to keep them on a more successful path toward healing and accepting. Let your children know that even though you are parting ways as parents, you will never abandon them because as we know children are likely to be fearful, angry, sad and they may even blame themselves, and so it will be very useful for you as a parent to have several talks with your children for further reassurance of you and your ex-significant other working together for their future. Some parents think that speaking negatively about the other parent to their children will help them, but I advise you to do the exact opposite, speak positively about one another and help each other because although you are no longer together, you still have common responsibilities revolving around your children. I know this is not always easy especially when a separation is extremely challenging but remember that it will be for your children’s greater good.

Communication is the key to all success when it comes to dealing with divorce as a divided family and can ultimately be the key to make the separation a successful transition.

– Marty and Laura, Life Circles